Fired my father


#1

Hey guys, so yeah i am thinking of firing my father from my roofing company, so a bit of back story, i started a partnership with him 10 years ago, i always did the business side which included writing estimates talking to suppliers checking up on pricing etc, however i was also on the job everyday doing tear off doing dump runs shingling etc so this meant i needed to be up most days really late at night doing business side of things, this pretty much went on for about 9 years, i never really was paid a fair wage or even any profit sharing, keep in mind that everything was under my name my responsibility but i was only paid as an employee, took me a long time to see he was taking advantage of me so i finally opened my own company this year with no help from him at all, i now pay him as a project manager and he hates it since he makes way less, about 98% of the work is sold by me but he still wants half of everything, what is the best way of telling him that we should go our separate ways without having him hate me? hes also done work behind my back using my license and trying to hide it from me but i usually find out, am i just a bad ungrateful son?


#2

Hi Adrian,
I completely understand your frustration and your situation. In my view, The best way for you is to engage him and trained him for his business; If possible trained him to focus on his business rather than particular project. Remember, after his retirement you would be able to offer him good price for his business or what happen God knows.
For you don’t ignore the fact you didn’t get paid, Consider you gained the experience and just be thankful for that.
The issues you r facing is actually Ethics and affiliation (love). You have to be patience and help him as much as you can; without any expectation.
Again the best way is to help and teach him what you have learnt.
However, try to eliminate the money involvement. If you have to spend on him don’t expect in return.
Sometimes, somethings are good if you do it for God to help people.
Your Dad will understand, you have your own life and responsibilities to your wife and kids and social circle. Then he will also start ignoring and chasing you.
Also try to figure out, Why exactly he doesn’t like you. Is it because, you left him. OR he considers, you have grown too quick or You left him and it’s not ethical.
I hope you don’t mind and will try to understand my point in the positive sense.
Try to show him maximum respect…Actions are Bigger than Words…Once your actions are good …Then use your words…Use kind words (he is older, Senior and your teacher and Your father).
Love him as he has probably done to you when you didn’t knew hot to talk & walk. If you have kids then it would be very easy to understand.
Lastly, You are Very Good Son and business man; who is concerned about his Dad’s feeling and emotions and want to support him.
NEVER COMPLAINT ABOUT YOUR DAD AGAIN.
If you respect him, your collegues, staff, associates will respect him.
Our Words can break the heart and can heal the heart.

I am very sorry, I hope you wouldn’t mind my reply. I could be wrong but this what I could have done and try to do.


#3

I think the answer is blatantly obvious to you, you’re just looking for confirmation. I don’t envy you the situation you’re in. Good luck.


#4

I did the same thing 25 years ago. It was emotionally difficult.

My father was getting a free ride on me and screwing things up by trying to do things “his way;” which was most often wrong. He felt entitled, was angry at the world and lazy. A lethal combination.

When we split, it caused a lot of friction in the family and his anger and loathing, while directed at me, was really toward himself. He begged to come back and I was tempted to reconcile the business relationship with him; after all, he was my father and I loved him as a father but not as a business partner.

In the end, I knew that he was only interested in the money and not at all interested in working or buying into the program and doing things in a correct manner. He only wanted a paycheck and quick money. I never allowed him back.

There are a lot of “partners” out there that are like that. Rid yourself of them. They will take you down.


#5

Everything you said is pretty much what im going through, except the lazy part, my dad is really hard working and never lazy but yes everything else is spot on, thank you for your reply.


#6

Can you transition him to a 1099 worker in some way - more like a partnership between two businesses rather than an employee? Then you have options to have others do the project work, and he has options to do project work for others as well. Like they say in almost all business 101 classes - partnerships within a business almost always fail for pretty much what you’re saying. But I’ve worked with a guy (tech business, not roofing) for close to 20 years, and we still have a great working relationship. He has my business, I have mine. If I do work for him, he sends me a 1099. If it’s not something I can or want to do, he finds somebody else. I also work with others on projects, which is no concern of his as long as what I do for him at the same time doesn’t conflict when it comes to time committed and/or competition. Help you dad get his own side business going, and he might even start to see non-roofing projects he likes to do better and can get more passionate about doing.


#7

I agree with keepitlow. I just had to do the same with a family member and it’s way better now. He was doing all kinds of bad things. Some people follow the golden rule and many do not and it catches up with them. I would write a letter explaining things and then keep things separate.